I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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