Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
