I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
