I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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