bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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