That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
