my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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