I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
