Girls should come with a carfax report
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
