i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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