I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
