Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
