im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
