my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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