my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
