hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
