Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
