I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm having to shit out rocks
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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