she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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