making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
