then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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