So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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