I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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