We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
