Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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