tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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