so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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