I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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