But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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