I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
