my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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