hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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