Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize