i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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