I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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