sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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