i don't like sucking hair
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
