I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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