Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
