I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
