Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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