Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
