She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
