We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
