he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
