rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
