if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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