I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
