I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Randomize
