My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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