I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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