I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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