they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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