she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
