don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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