he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have post one night stand depression
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