I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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