I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
