I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
