How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
even my farts smell like vagina
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize