youre lurking in front of me
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
