He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
