these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
