i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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