I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Randomize