"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize