she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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