Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
