Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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