if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
