TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wear drunk well.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
