let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
